Pondering

"If we grow and refine our skills for the glory of God and not for the glory of men, He is faithful to give us wings of power to fly free and ascend higher than we ever imagined possible."

One thing that stirs my heart is to see a gifted dancer dance with true emotion, to see expression go deeper than the display of muscular skill, to be swept away into the flow of narrative movement. If we grow and refine our skills for the glory of God and not for the glory of men, He is faithful to give us wings of power to fly free and ascend higher than we ever imagined possible.

“And I pray that he would unveil within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with his divine might and explosive power. Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of his love will become the very source and root of your life...Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.” (Ephesians 3, TPT)

I have come to know after many years of effortful exhaustion, that there is a polar difference between perfectionism and excellence. Excellence is rooted in freedom, while perfectionism is rooted in fear. A spirit of fear causes doubt and doubt can allow lies to infiltrate your heart that will inevitably attack your identity. I am so thankful for the faith-assurance of the Lords strength within me, so I can at long last function from the resting place of His love instead of debilitating myself to please others.

For the biggest part of my life, until the truth of my beloved identity in Christ became alive in every fibre of my being, I always had perfectionistic traits, especially when it came to my work or an area where others had expectations of me. I wanted my work delivery to be flawless and had a knot in my stomach before every musical performance. I was critical on myself and concerned about the evaluations of others. This made me spend numerous unnecessary hours on detail that tipped the scale to weigh tension far heavier than fulfillment. Afterwards, I would mostly feel happy with the result, but I was entirely exhausted.

The reason why striving towards a flawless performance is so draining, is because perfection is never attainable to a self-critic. This tendency towards perfection can become the chain that holds us from living out and sharing our gifts in freedom.

Breaking free from perfectionism does not mean giving in to mediocrity, it simply means changing the source from which we function. To create from being and not doing. God doesn’t require us to come to him with obligatory perfection, he asks us to bring what we have in this moment – our two fishes and five loaves of bread – so He can graciously and gloriously multiply it to the sustenance of an empty-bellied crowd.

I proclaim that I will live a life of excellence. I will continue to grow my talents and dance my heart out! ...And whenever the spotlight happens to fall on me, I will not be intimidated, but instead keep my gaze upwards and spread my wings in ascending freedom.